


Daydream Boulevard

by glitzyena



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Beaches, Break Up, Delusions, Drinking, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, House Party, Hurt/Comfort, Imagination, Insecurity, Joyride - Freeform, Lazy Mornings, Partying, Post-Break Up, Sad, Stealing, Summer, Swimming, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24404248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitzyena/pseuds/glitzyena
Summary: Sometimes, Chaewon scares herself with the weight of the word 'anything.'
Relationships: Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Kim Minju
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	Daydream Boulevard

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this is the first work i'm posting to ao3 to start off my acc, so i'm pretty excited! i won't ramble too much because i don't wanna keep you guys or spoil the story or anything, so although i'm a bit nervous, i hope you'll all enjoy!! :))  
> -glitz
> 
> [my twitter!](https://mobile.twitter.com/glitzyena)  
> 

"If you don't hurry up, we're gonna get caught,"

The hot, sticky summer night heat draws beads of sweat to Chaewon's forehead, and even though she's only in shorts and a t-shirt, her forehead remains damp no matter how many times she wipes the back of her hand across it. She bounces up and down on the balls of her feet, anxious, watching from a safe distance as Minju fiddles with the lock on her dad's car. The girl is squatted down, long, dark hair running in a smooth stream down her back, the short, wispy bits at the front plastered to her forehead with perspiration. A concentrated look is written all over her face, gaze honed in on the lock as it denies her persistently.

"Chill, of course we won't," Minju immediately retorts, not looking away from the task at hand, briefly raising an arm to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I've done this countless of times to sneak out to your place,"

They're stood in Minju's driveway, middle of July, summer at its prime and the entire world at their fingertips. Minju's house is situated on top of a hill, rows and rows of equally dazzling detached houses leading up to Minju's own, and from this high up, Chaewon can see the ocean. It gleams in the pale moonlight, the dying remains of the sunset blurring the horizon a burnt shade of rose, fading into a deep navy where the large body of water writhes and shudders in the soft summer breeze.

Minju must see her looking out to the water longingly, because she lets out a soft, airy breath of laughter. "Do you want to go swimming?"

Breaking out of her short-lived daze, Chaewon looks at her incredulously. "Now? Are you serious?"

Minju laughs again, louder this time, throwing her head back and covering her mouth with her hand. "Well, maybe not tonight..." she trails off, craning her neck to look over the top of the car's bonnet to match Chaewon's line of sight. "But some other night, why the fuck not? I don't know about you but I've never gone swimming at night,"

Chaewon blinks, before shaking her head with a smile. "Me neither,"

The car door emits a loud clicking noise, loud enough to make Chaewon grimace, but Minju lets out a whoop of success that totally warrants the appalled gasp that Chaewon emits. Her eyes immediately dart to Minju's house, to the window into her parents' room on the top left, before looking back to Minju again with an _are-you-actually-kidding-me-right-now-oh-my-god_ expression. "Are you crazy?" she hisses, but she isn't totally mirthless. She's unable to stop the corners of her lips from quirking upwards as Minju victoriously opens up the door of her dad's beloved _Porsche 959_. The car is straight from the eighties, squeaky-clean and, as Minju so often says, more important to him than she herself is.

Minju grins at her. "Do you really want me to answer that? C'mon, let's-"

"Minju?"

Both girls still at the sound of a third voice, Minju's dad, the gruff tone easily recognisable, but while panic slowly floods through Chaewon, Minju doesn't seem too bothered. In fact, she comes across as excited, almost, a wide smile splitting her face in two as she waves her hands to get Chaewon inside. "Quick, let's go!"

Chaewon bites her tongue to prevent herself from saying that that's what she's been telling Minju for the past hour or so, in favour of clambering inside of Minju's dad's flashy, expensive, literally irreplaceable vehicle with her crummy shoes she's had since she was fifteen. She crawls over the centre console with a lot less grace than she'd like to admit, flopping into the passenger seat, Minju close behind as she quickly scrambles to get into the driver's seat. The calls of Minju's name grow louder, the sounds of banging footsteps slivering their way through the cracks in the windows. The sound of the creaky seventh step on the staircase that Chaewon knows to step over each time Minju sneaks her inside. 

Minju inserts the car key into the lock cylinder (the old car key that only works half the time, hence why Minju was picking open the car lock in the first place. She told Chaewon that she'd tried many a time to steal the newer, current version that works perfectly, but it was always kept under close surveillance and she had yet to succeed), giving it a sharp flick of her wrist to turn on the ignition switch and start the engine. The car purrs to life like a cat stretching out in the evening sun, a low thrum running up Chaewon's body.

At that moment, the front door to Minju's house bursts open, her sleepy-eyed, yet red faced father standing in the porch, wrapped in his fluffy bathrobe that doesn't seem to fit too well with the rest of his demeanour. Chaewon thinks she sees the last remaining sliver of his soul dribble from his body once he sees the Porche in the driveway, the headlights on and the engine running, and Minju with her hand resting on the back of Chaewon's seat to reverse it out. The expression is soon replaced by anger, however, pure boiled rage, and he points a finger accusingly in Minju's direction. "Kim Minju!"

"Shit, go go go!" Chaewon exclaims frantically, hitting the centre console as an unconscious way to emphasise her point. Her father advances towards them, yelling at them to get out and to stop messing around, but his words sail right through one of Minju's ears and out the other. The girl lets out a carefree laugh as the yelling grows louder, beginning to reverse the car and starting off way too fast to be considered safe, but-

Chaewon just stares at her.

It's like for a brief moment, time slows, and all Chaewon sees is the bright, blithe look on her face as she giggles over the sound of her father shouting at her, her messy dark hair falling in front of her eyes in her haste. She looks so... liberated, the complete opposite of tied down. She looks _alive._

Chaewon can't help the fond smile that finds its way to her lips. She is kind of in love, after all.

She's broken out of her momentary haze when Minju rolls down the window, sticking her head out of it as she turns the car around on the road perpendicular to her driveway. "We're just taking it for a spin!" she shouts, unable to keep the laughter out of her tone. "We'll be back before morning... or something!"

Her father yells one last thing at them, trying to run to catch up with them, which proves to be difficult in his bare feet. Whatever it is he shouts, Chaewon doesn't catch it, because Minju is hitting the accelerator, and before she can even comprehend what's happening, they're racing down the hill, the engine that was once a purring cat now a roaring lion in her ears. She lets out a delighted scream, screwing her eyes shut with a beam planting itself on her lips, gripping onto the edge of her seat as if she were on a roller coaster. And honestly, with the way her stomach swoops and her heart soars, it kind of feels like she is.

Or maybe that's just a product of being with Minju.

The girl in question lets out another whoop of joy, one hand on the steering wheel and the other stuck out the window, feeling the wind rush through her fingertips. "We did it!" she exclaims, smiling so, so wide, and Chaewon's heart is fit to burst.

"Nice try," she gives Minju's arm a playful shove as they reach the base of the hill, Minju's reckless speed reducing to as close to normal as Chaewon thinks they're gonna get. "But you did most of the work,"

"You being there was half the effort," Minju insists jokingly.

"Sorry, stealing cars just isn't really my forte,"

"Which is what you've got me for!" Minju exclaims animatedly, throwing her arm over Chaewon's chair again. "To make your life that bit more-" she revs the engine, the car jolting forward with the sudden increase in speed, a small yelp slipping past Chaewon's lips. "-exciting,"

Chaewon shakes her head, before resting it back against the headrest. The air is cool from where it whips in from the open window, tousling at the stray strands of Chaewon's hair that have slipped out of the ponytail that she tied at the back of her head. "That's certainly one way to put it,"

"You love me for it though,"

"Mmh, you're right," Chaewon doesn't surprise herself with how much she means it anymore. "I do,"

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Minju smiling to herself, a gentle flush climbing its way onto the apples of her cheeks. For the first time that night, she's completely silent, for a while, until she asks Chaewon a question. "Where are we going then? Your choice, if you want it to be,"

"Anywhere," Chaewon sighs, well and truly meaning it. She looks out of the window, the lights from the far off city blazing pretty shades of violet and teal. "Take me anywhere,"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chaewon shifts, feeling warm, cozy, blinking groggily. She moves to sit up, but she's trapped beneath Minju's arm, the other girl still sound asleep. It's the most neutral state that Chaewon ever sees her in, when she's sleeping, her face relaxed, with her eyelashes resting delicately on the area of skin above her cheekbones, her lips turned upwards just the slightest amount like she's in the midst of a pleasant dream.

Chaewon turns around in her arms so that she's lying on her other side, so that the both of them are nose to nose. She's unable to stop a smile from breaking out, it just naturally flows onto her face and she does absolutely nothing to stop it. The early morning light is pale and warm, highlighting the high points of Minju's face from where it streams through the gap in Chaewon's curtains. She's so beautiful, like this, (even though Chaewon thinks she's beautiful all the time, just especially now), when she's not trying or not aware of just how soft and delicate she looks. Chaewon knows they aren't adjectives Minju'd describe herself as to anyone else, but they've known each other so long at this stage that it's one of many silent agreements that has passed through them both.

"Hey," she whispers, even able to hear the smile in her own voice, keeping her tone soft and quiet so as to not jolt her too hard out of her slumber. She reaches out and gives Minju's cheek an adoring poke, unable to resist, and giggles breathily when Minju scrunches up her nose in distaste. "Good morni-ing,"

Minju's lips draw together, and she raises her hand as a pathetic attempt at batting away Chaewon's touch. Chaewon can just make out a grumble of "Un _nie_ ," through Minju's thick morning slur, making her grin adoringly and cup Minju's cheek with her palm.

"You're _such_ a downer," Chaewon whines, acting up now just to be annoying.

"I'm half asleep," Minju corrects with a murmur, but she readjusts her arm over Chaewon's form so that she draws her closer nonetheless. "And _you_ -" she cracks open an eyelid, raising one of her eyebrows in a way that makes Chaewon giggle. "-are a clingy bitch," she doesn't say it in a condescending way, but rather fond.

"Mmh, you're right," Chaewon moves to rest her head on Minju's chest, able to hear her heartbeat. "I am clingy. Which means you, as my girlfriend, have the roll of satisfying my need to cling,"

Minju scoffs, rolling her eyes, but it's playful. "I mustn't have read the contract properly," she tilts her head down, pressing a kiss to the top of Chaewon's head, and Chaewon feels warmth flood through her like molten gold. "Sleep well?"

"Very," Chaewon replies, letting her eyelids fall shut. "You're warm," she blurts as an afterthought, her brain-to-mouth filter practically non-existent at this stage.

Minju lets out a low hum of laughter, and Chaewon feels the faint buzz coming from her voice box from where her ear rests just near it. The laughter trails off with a sigh, and Minju's free hand comes up to run her fingers through Chaewon's hair. It still feels weird to have her fingers come free of her locks so soon ever since she'd cut it, but Minju had showered her in kisses the moment she saw it, so Chaewon doesn't think she'll be going back to long hair anytime soon. Not that she really has a choice, but, it's the thought that counts.

Plus, most importantly, Chaewon likes it on herself. It had been a change for her, something exciting and bold and life-changing on a small scale, but it was something she'd wanted to do for a while but had never plucked up the courage to do. Not like Minju, who's daring and reckless and acts without thinking, who never thinks twice and always goes with what her heart tells her to do.

Chaewon is nothing like Minju. Nothing at all.

Which is why cutting her hair had been so big for her. It was more than just a stupid haircut; each time she watched as a dark lock of hair fell to the ground, each time the resounding _snip_ of the scissors echoed throughout the room, it was like putting a piece of her past self to rest. Now that she has even just the smallest bit of courage, she feels more liberated compared to before. Her cutting her hair short symbolises that. Now, she can put herself before her own fears, maybe not as much as she'd like to, but she's taking her time.

Minju likes to take it to the extremes, and it's one of the reasons Chaewon likes being around her so much. What she does with Minju, she'd never be able to do on her own.

They balance each other out. Minju can be too reckless, to the point where it's landed her in some sticky situations in the past, and Chaewon sometimes feels so suffocated by _what ifs_ that she can hardly breathe.

Somewhere, somehow, they meet in the middle.

Above her, Chaewon hears Minju let out a soft chuckle. Shifting so that she can look her in the eye, she draws her lips together when she speaks. "What?"

"You're like..." Chaewon likes it when Minju is sleepy. She tends to speak whatever's on her mind. "...so fucking pretty. Like what the fuck,"

Chaewon buries her face into her Minju's skin to muffle her laughter. "That was eloquent,"

"First of all, shut up-"

"Never,"

"-Second of all, that was fact,"

Chaewon leans up, so that her elbows are either side of Minju's ribs, cupping her chin in her palms. "You're sweet,"

Minju's face morphs into something tender, and a little bit of Chaewon melts inside. "Literally only you would be able to get away with saying something like that to me,"

Chaewon bites her lip, her beam growing wider, and Minju matches the expression easily. "Only me?"

God, she's so in love.

Minju leans in closer, so close that her lips graze against Chaewon's when she speaks, sending shudders down her spine. "Only you,"

Minju kisses her, slow and deep, and Chaewon melts into a dream of burnt rose skylines and empty promises.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The sound of the camera shutter is lost amongst the sound of the crowd, the dull flicker swept away by the heavy bass as Chaewon takes her eye away from the viewfinder.

Minju is stunning.

Chaewon's never been to a party this big before, and naturally, Minju's been to plenty. It's easy to tell, she blends right in, but at the same time stands out, because there's nobody out there quite like Kim Minju. She's in her own element, swamped by a surge of writhing, sweaty bodies, her eyes closed like there's no one in the world there other than her. The cheap strobe washes bars of neon over her skin, flashing pink and lime and so many colours that leave Chaewon breathless. She can't take her eyes off of her.

They've been here for a few hours now, the time slowly but surely slipping through their fingers, and while Chaewon is sure she looks completely dishevelled at this stage, Minju somehow manages to look better now than she did when they first arrived. Her hair is mussed up, falling down her shoulders in gentle, irregular waves. Her makeup isn't as rigidly perfect as it was before, her face now dotted with random pieces of glitter that shimmer when the light hits her just right.

Chaewon looks at the picture she'd taken, and shes can't help that her mouth runs dry. Because Minju is simply intangible, so much so that Chaewon is sometimes afraid that when she touches her, she'll simply disappear. Her eyes are closed, totally immersed in herself and in the moment, hands reaching up with dainty fingertips grazing the lambent light. Jewellery glimmers and scintillates against her skin, dangling from her wrists, her ears, catching the light and just making her shine all the more.

As if on instinct, as if her subconscious just knew it was going to happen, Chaewon looks up at the exact moment that Minju chooses to open her eyes.

Their gazes lock, and for a moment, it's just them. For one, blissful moment, the world stops, and Chaewon's breath gets caught somewhere in her throat, body freezing over. A sudden wave of emotions washes over her, a frothy mixture of adoration and fondness and excitement and elation and so many things that make her heart _race._ The trance ends just as soon as it ends, the coloured lights and the music returning in and instance, but it doesn't quell the burst of butterflies in the pit of Chaewon's stomach.

Minju's gaze becomes hooded, eyelids drooping and lips curling, and it's an expression Chaewon's all too familiar with. Minju is confident in the way she jerks her chin upwards, silently gesturing for Chaewon to follow her. Chaewon lets out a slow breath to calm the exhilaration pumping through her veins as Minju turns her back on her, weaving through the thick heavy crowd. Once she's regained all her senses, Chaewon begins to follow her, always ensuring that Minju's in her line of sight. Minju herself turns to look over her shoulder every few seconds, probably to ensure that Chaewon's still watching her, sending her looks that drive Chaewon crazy.

It's a flurry of light and colours, a blur of grabbing hands and sheer want, and before Chaewon even knows what's happening, her and Minju are nose to nose.

The heat is stifling, and both of them are breathless, from what Chaewon isn't too sure, but her chest is rising and falling faster than usual and she's long since given up on trying to find reason when it comes to Minju.

She smells like cherries, artificially sweet with an underlying kick of something alcoholic, and when Chaewon's eyes dart down to her lips she sees them shiny with the stuff. Swallowing thickly, she feels her blood thumping through her temples like the heavy bass that pounds through her system, hands jittery in the way they skitter across Minju's shoulders to wind around her neck.

Minju's face is twisted into one of those confident, knowing, stupidly attractive smiles. "You were taking photos of me," her voice is low, breath hot, and Chaewon really can't think straight.

"You're too beautiful for me not to," is Chaewon's excuse, which to be honest, she thinks is pretty fair.

Minju clicks her tongue, tilting her head to the side. "Cheesy," she hugs Chaewon that bit closer, so close that there's hardly any space left between them. "If that's the case, then you can do me a favour,"

Sometimes, Chaewon scares herself with the weight of the word word _anything_.

Minju's nose brushes against Chaewon's when she speaks. "Never look away from me,"

Chaewon has little to no time to breathe before Minju's lips are on hers. Chaewon finds herself closing her eyes, tugging on Minju's jacket, with Minju complying and pressing her body closer to Chaewon's own. Chaewon parts her lips, Minju tilting her head to deepen the kiss as her hands go to Chaewon's hair, carding and tugging lightly at the locks. Minju's hands squeeze Chaewon's hips, and she begins to guide Chaewon backwards to back her into the wall.

Chaewon finds herself caged, Minju's arms holding her in place. It only fuels Chaewon further, wrapping her arms around Minju's neck tighter. She pours all her heartache and desperation into the kiss, wants to show Minju just how much this means to her. And, like always, Minju doesn't fail to retaliate. She trains her attention on Chaewon's neck, sucking and nipping at the skin, slowly moving upwards until she tugs at Chaewon's earring with her teeth.

Chaewon sighs at the feeling, a tingling sensation coursing throughout her body, a slow smile lazily smearing on her lips. "Minju-yah?"

Minju hums lowly as a response, lips soft on her jawline, Chaewon's knees close to buckling.

"Love you,"

She feels Minju's teeth flashing against her flesh in a smile, her soft laughter drowned out by the music, but Chaewon feels it in the tingling vibrations that weave into her skin. "Love you too,"

Chaewon allows her eyes fall shut, and like a daydream, she feels herself melt into a blurred, blissful daze.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


" _Please_ unnie, c'mon, I swear on my life that it's not that cold,"

Chaewon narrows her eyes at Minju accusingly, eyes darting to the water every so often in suspicion. "You don't even give two flying fucks about your life!" she retorts.

Minju points a finger at her. "I would be offended but you're high key right,"

Chaewon intends to let out a scoff, but at that exact moment, the ocean takes it upon itself to assault her toes with frothy, foaming waves, ice cold and totally unexpected, so what comes out of her mouth is more along the lines a cat being dragged through an alleyway. She jumps, moving several paces backwards with a string of curses bubbling from her lips, cringing at the feeling of sand sticking to her now-wet feet.

Minju, naturally, takes this as the perfect opportunity to burst into laughter, doubling over with her hair falling in front of her eyes.

Even though she pretends to be upset, whining and drawing her lips into a pout, Chaewon revels in the sound. It's completely dark, the only light coming from the far off lamp posts that light up the road perpendicular to the beach they're stood on. That, and the moon, full and bright above them, makes the shifting water shimmer palely, the translucent white coating Minju's skin a cool sheen. She'd managed to get much further than Chaewon, who's insisted that she can't go in any further than the tips of her toes, wading in so far that the water reaches just beneath the hem of her shorts. Unlike Chaewon, she giggles delightedly each time the crests of the waves splash against her skin, the spray spattering on her arms and dampening the fabric of her shirt.

"The water barely even touched you!" Minju cackles, reaching out as if to take Chaewon's hand. "Look, we've come all the way out here, I'm literally drenched, and I am not leaving until you get in here with me,"

Chaewon gives her an unimpressed look. "This is blackmail,"

"This is what dating me is all about," Minju counters. "C'mon, I really promise you that it feels so nice once you get used to it,"

"That's what she said,"

"Oh my _god,_ just- come on!"

The night is sweltering hot, as summer ones usually are, and although the idea of cooling off sounds appealing, Chaewon isn't too sure whether or not she wants to trade that for freezing her limbs off.

But, Minju wiggles her fingertips as a silent encouragement, and Chaewon thinks again just how frightening the meaning of _anything_ is.

Tentatively, Chaewon steps forward, letting her foot linger over the area where the water spreads thinnest. "If you laugh at me I won't kiss you for an entire week," It's a useless threat, because they both know Chaewon can't go ten minutes without some form of contact, but Minju complies by keeping her face dead straight.

As gingerly as possible, Chaewon dips her first foot into the water up to her ankle, sucking in air through her teeth and scrunching up her face. "Cold cold cold _cold_ -"

"No no, don't stop!" Minju insists, overly dramatic like they're in a movie or something, and Chaewon kind of wants to melt. "Hurry, my hand is getting lonely," she waves her hand again.

"The things I do," Chaewon mutters under her breath as she plunges her other foot into the water, feeling the sand shifting to accommodate her. "You want me to steal a car, I do it, you want us to joyride across the city, I do it, you want us to break into the school, I do it, you want us to- Minju!"

Chaewon cuts herself off with a surprised cry of Minju's name when she eventually manages to intertwine their fingers together, only to be completely and utterly _betrayed_ when Minju tugs her forward with a jolt, pulling her through the water and splashing the salty liquid everywhere. Chaewon stands there, water drops on her face, on her shirt, her mouth hanging open and eyes screwed shut in shock as Minju laughs so hard she can barely breathe.

"I promise I-" Minju can't even get the words out with how much she's laughing. "I wasn't meant to-"

"That's it,"

"No, please!"

"No kisses for a full week,"

"Chaewon- _unnie_!"

"No, an entire _month,_ "

"Well," Minju says haughtily, taking a hold of Chaewon's hand, taking extra care to tug her closer in a more gentle way this time. "Just because you can't kiss me doesn't mean I can't kiss you,"

"Oh no," Chaewon drones monotonously. "You've found a loophole,"

Minju's lips quirk, again, stupidly, ridiculously, _absurdly_ attractive, one eyebrow raising as she winds her arms around Chaewon's waist. "You sound pretty upset about that,"

"Absolutely devestated," Chaewon replies, kind of having forgotten what it is she's devastated over because Minju's so close that it's like her breath has been snatched right out of her lungs. But, she does keep a level head, and remember why she's cold and shivering in the first place, watching Minju intently as she moves to close the gap between them.

Just as Minju's got her eyes shut, just as they’re so close that their lips brush, Chaewon reaches out and-

 _Splash_.

Minju's yelp is cut off with a strangled gargle as she plunges into the icy water, falling in so that her entire body is submerged before she scrambles to resurface. It's Chaewon's turn to laugh as Minju comes up from underneath the only deapths, hair plastered to her head and eyes squeezed shut, gasping in a breath and vainly wiping the water off her face. She's crouched down, hands keeping her buoyant as she slowly opens her eyes, looking at Chaewon with so much disbelief that it just makes Chaewon laugh even harder.

Minju just stares at her, for a few moments, looking like her brain hasn't caught up with what's happened yet, and the bewilderment on her face is so hilarious that Chaewon doesn't think she can breathe.

"Oh, you fucking-"

Chaewon doesn't hear whatever it is that Minju says over the sound of her own gasp. Minju reaches up, snagging her fingers on the neck of Chaewon's shirt and pulling her down hard. Chaewon's too caught off guard, too lost in the emotions she's feeling, to do anything other than follow the motions and fall right back into the water with Minju.

It's cold, freezing cold, and bubbles erupting around them tickle mercilessly at Chaewon's skin. Yet despite everything, despite the fact that it's freezing, that she's soaked and her clothes are saturated, that her hair is most likely a tangled, dripping mess, none of it _matters_. Because when Minju kisses her beneath the ebbing waves, she tastes like seasalt and artificial cherries, and Chaewon couldn't be happier.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Shit, I-" Minju cuts herself off with a hiccup, ignoring Chaewon's peals of laughter in favour of smiling disjointedly, lips lopsided. "I'm so fucking drunk,"

"Anymore and you'll get poisoning," Chaewon snickers.

"Oh fuck off, like you're any better," Minju retaliates, lazily flipping her off. "Besides, wouldn't be the worst way to go,"

Chaewon arches an eyebrow at her, unconvinced. "Alcohol poisoning? Really?"

Minju tilts her head in consideration, the bottle in her hand following the movement. "I mean I'd be doing what I love,"

Chaewon clicks her fingers and shoots her a finger gun. "Touché,"

Minju laughs, tipping her head back, somehow still looking as delectable as ever sat in a bathtub in a grimy bathroom in the middle of a stranger's house with shitty EDM pounding from downstairs. "No but really, kill me right now, and I wouldn't be too bothered,"

The smile slips from Chaewon's lips. "How do you mean?"

Minju shrugs, propping her elbows up on the bathtub's rim either side of her. "I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm really fucking happy right now," she gestures to the little space in between them both. "I've got to spend time with you, we've done some crazy shit, I've got to _be_ with you, like you're actually into me what the fuck is wrong with you-"

"Nothing much, but go on,"

Minju shrugs. "And that's all I need really. So, kill me now, and I'd be pretty satisfied with how my life was,"

Chaewon's heart is trying to fight its way out of her rib cage with how much it's swelling. "You don't want more? Make it big, see the world?"

"Nah," is Minju's simple response. "You're worth so much more than any of that,"

And it's the little things like that. Things like that that make Chaewon think that she could search the world high and low, and she'd never be as lucky to ever stumble across a person quite like Kim Minju.

"So are you," Chaewon replies, not as confident as she would've liked, and she hears Minju coo.

"Aww, you're so _cute_ ,"

"Shut _up_ , I'm tipsy alright!"

"My little Chaewonie~"

"Oh, so _I'm_ the one that sounds drunk, am I?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Chaewon-ah,"

Chaewon stops laughing abruptly.

Gripping onto the bottle in her hand a little tighter, she turns to the door, which had been opened completely unbeknownst to her. Yena stands there, holding onto the door frame with hesitation written all over her features. Chaewon doesn't miss the way her eyes dart to the near-empty bottle, to what is now probably a streaky mess of eyeliner and mascara smeared across her face.

Chaewon looks at the other side of the bathtub longingly. Minju isn't there.

Yena catches her looking, Chaewon knows she does. "Shit, Chae-"

"It's so stupid," Chaewon hates how her words come out a blubbered mess, hates how her voice breaks to a whisper. "It's so _stupid_ , everything is just so fucking-" she can't even finish her sentence, her body seeming to forget what breathing patterns even are, tilting her head back to rest her head against the tub's rim and slouching in the process. She covers her eyes with the back of her forearm, all too aware of the way Yena comes over to her, kneels down next to the tub and wraps her arms around her.

"She's not meant to be here. Why is she here?"

"I know, I know. I was just as surprised as you," Yena runs a hand through her hair soothingly. "I saw her and- I just knew I had to find you,"

Chaewon stares down at her lap blankly, leaning into Yena's touch. "I saw her and... and everything just froze. I panicked so much, my stomach just exploded and I didn't know whether to run to or away from her as fast as possible," she lets out a dry, humourless breath of laughter. "Everything that I've been trying for so long to block out. It just all came back, just like that. I only had to look at her for a fucking _second,_ Yena, and everything felt as bad as it did the day after it all happened,"

"You can't let her get to you," Yena says. "You can't let her just waltz in and discredit all the hard work you've put into yourself in the past few months,"

Chaewon opens her mouth to reply, but amidst the muffled music coming from downstairs, she hears voices. New ones, laughing and talking quietly, and both her and Yena are silent as they grow closer.

To Chaewon's horror, Minju bursts through the doorway, hand in hand with someone Chaewon doesn't recognise. Their laughter dies fast, and the second Minju lays eyes on Chaewon, her face falls. Initially, everyone freezes, neither party expecting the other to be there, all four staring at one another for a few painfully awkward moments. Chaewon feels like she's suffocating, the breath being snatched from her lungs as everything she's worked for, everything she's done over the past nine months just comes crumbling down.

Because Minju is staring at her. Kim Minju is staring right at her and Chaewon is weak.

The girl clinging onto Minju the one who breaks the silence, seeming to be the only one out of the four of them who isn't aware of how mortifying the situation is. She tugs on Minju's arm so that Minju's ear is level with her lips. "I think this one's taken," she whispers with a giggle, seeming amused and definitely not sober. "C'mon," she gestures for Minju to follow her before walking away in search of an empty room, for Minju to follow her the same way Chaewon always did.

With the other girl gone, it's just the three of them, the three of them and deafening silence and the obvious truth of the matter. Chaewon knows Minju's still staring at her, can feel her eyes boring into her, but Chaewon doesn't have the guts to look back. Because she knows, she knows Minju, and she knows that if she looks at her, all she'll see is regret. And if Minju regrets what's happened, then it means that all of Chaewon's pain was for nothing. It means she rebuilt herself, slowly but surely working to become even just a sliver of who she once was, and all her efforts would be for nothing. Minju can't regret it because Chaewon doesn't think she has the emotional strength to cope.

She feels Yena's eyes on her, scanning her for any signs of distress or anything of the sort, but Chaewon doesn't allow herself to look at her either. It's too much, it's too overwhelming, she's _suffocating_ -

Without even knowing what she's doing, she stands up. Her fists are clenched so hard her palms begin to sting from the pressure.

"Chaewon-unnie,"

 _God_. Fuck, even the way Minju says her name. It stings, like she's dug a knife into her side and is slowly twisting it, slow and smarting but Chaewon would gladly let her. She feels a wave of fresh tears sting behind her eyelids, gathering on her tear line and blurring her vision. She still can't bring herself to look at her. She doesn't think she'll be able to carry on the way she has for so long now if she does.

"Please,"

She doesn't sound anything like the Minju Chaewon knew. Her voice breaks halfway through the word, only coming out as a whisper, and Chaewon can't do anything to stop the tears that overflow, can't help but wonder how everything could go so _wrong_.

But she remembers. No matter how much she tries to block them out, she remembers. It started with the "I'm not really feeling it"s and the "I actually think I'm better off alone tonight"s, which lead to the "I haven't really talked to you in a while"s and the "I just need time to think"s, which ultimately resulted in the quietly spoken "I don't think I love you as much as I used to".

Minju opens her mouth again, and if she's anything like Chaewon, or even if she's still anything like what Chaewon remembers her to be, then her mind is full to the brim of things that have been gathering and stewing for the past nine months, and there's so many of them clogging up that it's impossible to pick one out from the crowd.

Minju, with just one word, is asking her to look at her again. And Chaewon remembers what Minju had made her promise before. _Never look away from me._ Chaewon's breaking that promise now.

Minju opens her mouth again, expression verging on desperate, hand moving to tap the doorframe subconsciously. Her eyes dart from the bottle in Chaewon's grip, and back to her face again. "I-"

"Minju-yah!" Minju's cut off by the girl she was with, her voice coming from somewhere down the corridor, and Chaeown could scream. It only dawns on her then that she's just as angry as she is upset; Minju has the- the fucking _nerve_ to show up here, totally unannounced, happy and laughing without a care in the world, and then stand there like a fucking fool with desperation written all over her face like she hadn't knowingly torn Chaewon's life to shreds.

Whatever Minju was going to say, whether it be _I hate you, I love you, I miss you_ , or whatever's in between, Chaewon will never know. Because after lingering for a few more agonisingly long seconds, Minju is gone.

Just like that. She shows up with no warning, and leaves without a word.

And Chaewon wants so bad to be strong. To yell out after her, to curse and swear and chase after her, demand for an explanation, to give her even just a taste of the sheer emotional torment she'd subjected her to, but...

But Chaewon has never been like Minju.

So, instead, she crumples in a heap in the middle of the grimy bathtub, buries her face into her arms, and cries over what could have been.

She vaguely registers Yena comforting her, murmuring words into her ear to calm her down, her arms wrapped around her again and letting Chaewon lean against her. In some other world, Chaewon thinks, none of this would be happening, they would never have drifted apart if only she'd played her cards better, if only she hadn't let her own insecurities stop her, if only she'd said something more, if only-

She catches herself.

It really is nice to daydream. To wander down a boulevard of memories like if she envisions them enough, things will return to the way they were. But maybe, Chaewon thinks, she doesn't particularly care. If to get by, each time she sees the ocean, she sees the time they went swimming at midnight, so what? If she feels Minju's warmth behind her in the mornings, if she smells artificial cherries each time a stranger pulls her close. Chaewon still clings onto her memories with Minju like they're a lifeline, and even though she knows it's been months, she knows she has to eventually let her go... she loses the part of her that wants adventure. That took the risk of cutting her hair, that sometimes urged Minju to drive faster, just to feel the exhilaration rushing through her veins. Without Minju, that part of her is gone.

"I'm nothing without her," she barely manages to speak above a whisper, voice shaky and words slurred.

"Chaewon, no-"

"No, you- you don't get it," Chaewon cuts Yena off, hating herself for crying again, for the way her voice shakes and lips tremble. "She made me _alive._ I was so much more whenever I was with her and when she's not around I'm just... I..." she can't even get the words out.

Yena takes her face in her hands, using her thumbs to brush away the seemingly endless stream of tears pouring from her ducts, shushing her gently. "Answer me honestly," her voice is gentle. "Would you take her back? Even after everything?"

Chaewon recoils at the fact that she doesn't even need to think about it - she's already contemplated it time and time again. She looks up at the ceiling, like gravity will pull her tears away from her eyelids and back into her system to disappear.

"In a heartbeat,"

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so so much for reading! if you enjoyed, please leave a kudos and a comment! i'd really appreciate it :))
> 
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